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Monday, 15 September 2014

How You Can Benefit From Being Around Judgemental People

Hello, hi, how'd'you do? Okay, now we've made our introductions, let's do this shall we?

First thing to say is that although you can benefit from being around judgemental people, which I will explain as you read on, I don't recommend spending all of your time around them. Long-term readers of my blog might remember my theory of basement and balcony people - the general gist of it is, certain people will bring you down, but others will encourage you and put you in a higher light ("balcony" people). As a general note, avoid spending time with judgemental people as much as you can, but if you need to see these people every day, for example at work or school, here is how you can benefit and turn their negative energy into positive energy.

Spending time with a negative Nancy is hard, especially when said negative Nancy is judgemental as well. It leaves you feeling inadequate. And feeling inadequate is one of the worst feelings in the world. Believe me.

Recently someone made quite a rude remark about one of my ambitions to travel, meet people and  to explore as many countries as I can.  This person also, for lack of a better word, completely bashed my future plans and any ideas I happened to mention, which were not directed at this person in the first place. Now I didn't really care, mostly because I knew I was going to do it anyway. But it made me think about how this person, let's call her Nancy, said her opinion just for the sake of saying it. It didn't make me change my mind, it didn't make me like her even more - in fact probably the opposite of both happened.

But what I recommend, my dear readers, when dealing with someone like Nancy, is hearing these opinions. Not listening, hearing. Don't listen and let their hurtful words sink into your mind. Hear what they have to say, and as rude and as disrespectful as they are, just hear them out. The reason I say this is, it's important to remember their words and let that fuel your desire, almost as a form of motivation, to do what you want to do even more. If someone says don't do xyz because it's "so boring", you need to say to yourself, "WHO CARES? I know I'm going to do xyz anyway. I have the drive, the determination, the ambition and most importantly the dream, to get where I want to be in life. I can do it" Or even if it's something small like someone says something along the lines of  "I can't believe she's wearing that jumper, it's so hideous." Again, you need to say to yourself, "WHO CARES? Let me do me, and I'm going to be just fine."

You never have to prove anything to anyone. But you can show them how wrong they were about you. Let them see you doing what you said you would do. Let them see what they were never able to see in you before.

I am a whole hearted believer in things happening for a reason. I believe that when you meet difficult people who you have to deal with, that is your learning block. From these negative, unpleasant people you can learn how not to behave and how to treat others. You hear your kindergarten teacher say "treat others the way you want to be treated." Judgemental people don't treat you well. And it doesn't ever feel good. So why subject someone else to that same feeling? Learn from these people. Learn that treating people badly and looking down on their hopes, ambitions and dreams isn't what is right. What is right, is believing in yourself. Believing that you can get to where you want to be most. Learn from them that you need to believe in yourself even when they won't.

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Judgemental people, although one of the worst to be around, have so many benefits. They teach you to love yourself even more, because they don't feel comfortable loving you. They teach you to believe in yourself and have your own dreams and goals, specific to you and no one else. They teach you to be independent and show you how you should make other people feel. They show you that even though you can feel your worst when around them, nothing is worse that bringing other people down. They teach you that you are the most important person in your life. You need to treat yourself with love, integrity and respect. Do what you want.

♥ Jess ♥
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