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Monday, 9 December 2013

(Blogmas: Day 9) Awkward

I'm a very awkward person. If I'm comfortable with you, I'm a hoot and a half but with certain people, I turn from a lovable, friendly person to someone who would rather sit in the corner of a room with a "dunce" hat on than talk to you.

Maybe it's because of the fact that I don't know these people. And then I think to myself, why should I be afraid? They're going to judge me anyway, so I may as well spare both of us some time and energy and just reveal my true self now. But that's easier said than done. Breaking out of this so called shell, takes practice and time.

Think about it. How many times have you ever had to go buy something from a supermarket and you had to encounter that person who scans your items for you. Yes, it's nice that someone does that for you but I am constantly so paranoid about how they would judge me for what I buy. *beep* Oh, pimple cream - yup she definitely needs that. *beep* Toilet paper - oh looks like someone's been to the toilet a lot. *beep* fashion magazine. Shouldn't she be studying? *beep* Chocolate. *beep* More chocolate. *Beep* More Chocolate. *Beep* She's going to need a lot more pimple cream if she buys this much chocolate.

And the truth is, no one really thinks like that. It's hard to believe, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, but nobody really cares. Obviously when it comes to personal problems, people care about you and your wellbeing, but other things are just not of an importance to them. We often judge ourselves too harshly - something I am VERY guilty of. Like, when you have a pimple (don't know why this post is obsessed with spots now) you think everyone is staring at it and it's the only thing they can see, but truth is - they can't see it. They hardly notice it until you point it out.

So what I'm saying today is, stop judging yourself so harshly and stop caring about what other people think. Take baby steps. Stop caring about what the shop assistant thinks or that lady you passed in the street thinks. You're never going to see them again, so why does it matter? Obviously it goes without saying that you should care about the impression you give to people you trust, but to people who don't affect you on a regular basis, why should you let your paranoia, stop you from enjoying being your true self?

Be who you are, and don't worry about people who judge you. They aren't worth your time and effort. Who are they to stop you from achieving what you want?

♥ Jess ♥

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